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How not to grow tomatoes

10 rules for guaranteed failure

Tomato plant with straw mulch and chamomile
Breaking most of the failure rules here: The tomato plant is green and healthy, with support, straw mulch, and a companion chamomile plant to attract bees and
other pollinators. (Photos: Kathy Morrison)



Tomato plants in a row with boards for walking along
This tomato row uses wooden stakes and strings to keep
the plants in line.
Just looking around the community garden where I have a plot, you can see so many different ways to grow tomatoes. Some people have them in ditches, some in raised beds. Fancy cages in one plot, contraptions of wire and twine and stakes in another. Some plants are pruned so much they look like bean poles; other tomato plants are so full and fluffy that you can't tell one plant from its neighbor.

You know what? We all manage to harvest tomatoes. So when it comes to growing Sacramento's favorite crop, I've decided that the only hard-and-fast rules are how NOT to grow tomatoes. If there's a link after the rule, it takes you to a good explanation of why this approach will fail:

1) Plant from seed, and leave the seedling indoors, with inadequate light, as long as possible. Result: Tall, lanky plant with a skinny stem.
See this guide, especially page 4

2) Alternatively, buy a tomato in a 4-inch pot, then keep it there for months. This also works with the seedling in #1.

3) Dig a very shallow hole. That is, when finally getting around to plant the 4-inch-contained, skinny, pathetic plant. Or put it in a very shallow pot, certainly no bigger than a 2-gallon container. Who needs roots? Same link as above , page 5.

4) Put those plants close together in the same place they grew last year. No amendments allowed. Explained here

5) Cages, are you kidding? They're vines -- let them flop all over the bare ground. Farmers do it. Back to this again, page 6 especially. Also this

6) Water the plants when you feel like it. Five minutes one day, then 5 more next week. Or flood the area daily. Make them hew to your schedule. Oh, and no fertilizer, either. Here's a classic.

7) Don't bother planting any flowers or herbs for pollinators. Why get the bees in on this? Try this link or this one
Sickly looking tomato plant
Is this sad or what? Never planted,
never will be.


8) Pests are natural, so let them roam your tomatoes. Spider mites, tomato hornworms, whiteflies -- eh, just doing what comes naturally. Try this and scroll down to the pest section.

9) Blossom end rot? You know, those dark mush spots on the ends of the tomatoes (assuming your plant managed to produce any). Must be a calcium deficiency, so buy calcium tablets and put them in the soil. http://farmerfred.com/blossomendrot.htm

10) Tomatoes like full sun. We live in "Sacratomato," after all, so that triple-digit summer heat shouldn't bother the tomato plants. Don't even think of using burlap or shade cloth over them to protect the fruit. Gotta love exploding tomatoes.

---------------------------------------------

So there it is, how to guarantee you won't get tomatoes.

I finally planted the last of my container tomatoes this week. Here's the official 2021 list:

The familiar:

Big Beef,  Juliet, Jet Setter, First Prize, Lemon Boy -- all hybrids -- and Sweet Chelsea, a vigorous large cherry.

New for me:

Sungold Select -- a Wild Boar Farms variation on an old favorite; Chef’s Choice Red -- AAS winner;  Brad’s Atomic Grape -- wild multicolored grape tomatoes, from Wild Boar Farms; Pink Boar -- pink and dark green, also WBF; Wine Jug -- dark purple, WBF; Tasty Pink -- a pink heirloom and incidentally a gorgeous plant; Orange Oxheart -- free seeds so why not; Lucid Gem -- Wild Boar Farms again, this one orange and yellow with purple skin.

In pots at home:

Patio Choice Yellow;  Better Bush -- best container tomato I've found; Robeson -- overwintered survivor.

In grow bags, my big experiment this year:

Braveheart cherry; AAA Sweet Solano -- a Wild Boar Farms yellow-red; Cherokee Carbon -- wonderful  hybrid of two heirlooms.

Here's hoping we all have a successful tomato-growing year, drought notwithstanding.



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Garden checklist for week of Feb. 8

Dodge those raindrops and get things done! Your garden needs you.

* Start your spring (and summer) garden. Transplant or direct-seed several flowers, including snapdragon, candytuft, lilies, astilbe, larkspur, Shasta and painted daisies, stocks, bleeding heart and coral bells.

* In the vegetable garden, plant Jerusalem artichoke tubers, and strawberry and rhubarb roots. Transplant cabbage and its close cousins – broccoli, kale and Brussels sprouts – as well as lettuce (both loose leaf and head).

* Indoors, start peppers, tomatoes and eggplant from seed.

* Plant artichokes, asparagus and horseradish from root divisions. Plant potatoes from tubers and onions from sets (small bulbs). The onions will sprout quickly and can be used as green onions in March.

* From seed, plant beets, chard, lettuce, mustard, peas, radishes and turnips.

* Annuals are showing up in nurseries, but wait until the weather warms up a bit before planting. Instead, set out flowering perennials such as columbine and delphinium.

* Plant summer-flowering bulbs including cannas, calla lilies and gladiolus.

* This is the last chance to spray fruit trees before they bloom. Treat peach and nectarine trees with copper-based fungicide. Spray apricot trees at bud swell to prevent brown rot. Apply horticultural oil to control scale, mites and aphids on fruit trees soon after a rain. But remember: Oils need at least 24 hours to dry to be effective. Don’t spray during foggy weather or when rain is forecast.

* Feed spring-blooming shrubs and fall-planted perennials with slow-release fertilizer. Feed mature trees and shrubs after spring growth starts.

* Remove aphids from blooming bulbs with a strong spray of water or insecticidal soap.

* Fertilize strawberries and asparagus.

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Food in My Back Yard (FIMBY) Series

Lessons learned during a year of edible gardening

WINTER

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Starting in seed starting

Why winter is the perfect time to plant fruit trees

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How to squeeze more food into less space

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Plant a fruit tree now -- for later

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Tips for planting bare-root trees, shrubs and vegetables

Time to give vegetable seedlings some more space

Ways to win the fight against weeds

FALL

Dec. 16: Add asparagus to your edible garden

Dec. 9: Soggy soil and what to do about it

Dec. 2: Plant artichokes now; enjoy for years to come

Nov. 25: It's late November, and your peach tree needs spraying

Nov. 18: What to do with all those fallen leaves?

Nov. 11: Prepare now for colder weather in the edible garden

Nov. 4: Plant a pea patch for you and your garden

Oct. 27: As citrus season begins, advice for backyard growers

Oct. 20: Change is in the autumn air 

Oct. 13: We don't talk (enough) about beets

Oct. 6: Fava beans do double duty

Sept. 30: Seeds or transplants for cool-season veggies?

Sept. 23: How to prolong the fall tomato harvest 

SUMMER

Sept. 16: Time to shut it down? 

Sept. 9: How to get the most out of your pumpkin patch

Sept. 2: Summer-to-fall transition time for evaluation, planning

Aug. 26: To pick or not to pick those tomatoes?

Aug. 19: Put worms to work for you

Aug. 12: Grow food while saving water

Aug. 5: Enhance your food with edible flowers

July 29: Why won't my tomatoes turn red?

July 22: A squash plant has mosaic virus, and it's not pretty

July 15: Does this plant need water?

July 8: Tear out that sad plant or baby it? Midsummer decisions

July 1: How to grow summer salad greens

June 24:  Weird stuff that's perfectly normal

SPRING

June 17: Help pollinators help your garden

June 10: Battling early-season tomato pests

June 3: Make your own compost

May 27: Where are the bees when you need them?

May 20: How to help tomatoes thrive on hot days

May 13: Your plants can tell you more than any calendar can

May 6: Maintain soil moisture with mulch for garden success

April 29: What's (already) wrong with my tomato plants?

April 22: Should you stock up on fertilizer? (Yes!)

April 15: Grow culinary herbs in containers

April 8: When to plant summer vegetables

April 1: Don't be fooled by these garden myths

March 25: Fertilizer tips: How to 'feed' your vegetables for healthy growth